I lost my mind this morning.
I was listening to the radio loud in the truck on the way to work.
Too loud. Hurt my ears and block out my thoughts loud....and I screamed "I never meant to FADE AWAY." and then I screamed again. Louder and harder than I have ever screamed in my entire life.
I scared myself. And then I split off. I became two.
I am Agnes' joyful facade.
I am Agnes' screaming madness.
I was listening to the radio loud in the truck on the way to work.
Too loud. Hurt my ears and block out my thoughts loud....and I screamed "I never meant to FADE AWAY." and then I screamed again. Louder and harder than I have ever screamed in my entire life.
I scared myself. And then I split off. I became two.
I am Agnes' joyful facade.
I am Agnes' screaming madness.
So where were you
When all this I was going through?!
You never took the time to ask me
Just what you could do.
I just needed someone to talk to
You were just too busy with yourself
You were never there for me to
Express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I’m older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surfaceI am scratching
Is the bed that I have made
I never meant to fade away!!
posted by Agnes at 5:29 AM
5 Comments:
Sorry, I'm here now. :-)
:) Sweet, sweet man.
Of course, I was in no way referring to you. You seem to be the only man in the history of my life who took the time to actually LET me emote.
Ah, but my insanity is the bed that I have made. Should I unmake it? I do not know. I do know that now is not the time to consider such things.
I am Agnes' joyous facade.
I am Agnes' screaming madness.
Tracey discribed that much better than I in her post today. That split. Those walls.
I suppose we all scream some days...when no one is listening.
Is it best to scream alone?
Ah - and by the way, you sneaky thing you, I really didn't know anyone was bothering with my "not so hidden, hidden posts".
My dark side needed a place to express itself. ;) A place to vent. Open Vents where things flow...dangerously and freely.
You are welcome here...but watch your step. Things can be quite sharp.
(first aid kit is back on the main page.)
I like raw honesty. Thanks for the welcome. I wasn't sure this was a place you wanted a sneaky little vistor putting in his two cents. :-)
My dear, your two cents are made of diamonds and valued priceless.
They are always welcomed anywhere in my world.
As for raw honesty - I've never really felt comfortable with that...in the real world. But BOY it blows storms through my head.
I guess it's good to have a place to let that wind and rain lie.
I've been doing it most of my life, in books and such.
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