1-22-06 The first dream

Through very fitful attempts at rest, I did have one dream.
Saturday night was the first time since that I've dreamt of my father. I wanted to remember it here because it was not a bad dream.

I dreamed that I was walking through the hospital and Mom and Dad were standing at an information board with their backs to me. They were reading the board and I walked up to them and opened with some corny joke, as we always did. Dad replied and we giggled. (I don't remember the joke.)
At some point Dad and I ended up walking down the hall together. He wasn't terribly sick. He had a bad cold or a flu because his nose was red. That is all that was wrong with him. We were chatting and I remember knowing that he as annoyed that he was still at the hospital...but I also knew he would be going home the next day.
That was the overall feeling of the dream...that the hospital was very temporary and that he was getting better.
There was no sadness or anger. We were just together like always. We were just walking and talking like we were out shopping or something.
I didn't awake from the dream missing him or sad about things. I wasn't elated or overjoyed for having dreamt of him. It just simply seemed like a "normal" thing.

I can't say that I ever dreamed of my father in the past. To be honest, I'd like very much to do it again.

Lunesta gets me asleep enough to dream. I'm going to try to get some more pills. I need to dream. I feel as though my subconscious needs to work through some things and isn't getting the chance.
I feel as though I'm not dealing with a lot of things on a conscious level yet either.
Maybe it would be best if I dreamed of him for a while.