12-31-2005
There are a few things I want to remember. Not all of them good.
I have been deeply hurt by the selfishness and coldness of people I like. People I never thought would be so incapable of giving. I will forgive them in time because I know they simply cannot relate. It is an un-reality to them. One day, it will not be. I will hurt for them then, because I will understand.
On a better note:
I have been deeply moved by the kindness of strangers. Some who do not know what I am feeling still came through with the nicest of thoughts.
Steve, our new CFO, took a moment just to stand next to me and to say "I want you to know how grateful we are to you for being at work this week. I know it must be very hard for you to be here. I know your boss is grateful too."
I needed desperately to hear those words and they mean a lot to me still. That office was seeming very cruel and uncaring until then.
To Carolyn and Aaron and Diane, who took a moment to talk with me, give me a hug and ask if all was well - Thank you for that.
A billion hugs and thanks to my best friend Dino - who came through for me completely. She is a blessing. I love her dearly and pray for her health too.
And my dear husband...I have never loved you more than now. You have been so kind and so giving. You brought me lunch on your day off and you've held me close when I needed it.
I wish you could come with me to Houston but I know that's not possible. Heaven knows I don't want to lose another life and that is what would happen if you left Pooh alone. Stay and keep him safe for me.
Finally - and not at all least - all of these incredible and amazing internet friends. I have no words to express such deep gratitude for perspectives, hugs, caring, kindness and hope.
I will remember always the soft place you kept for me to land.
***
No one knew in October that a man had only three months to live. To me, that is amazing and astounding and absurd.
I will miss, already miss, so very much sharing.
I have been deeply hurt by the selfishness and coldness of people I like. People I never thought would be so incapable of giving. I will forgive them in time because I know they simply cannot relate. It is an un-reality to them. One day, it will not be. I will hurt for them then, because I will understand.
I am afraid of what I will walk into when I return to work. That sick corporate entity has actually discussed cutting my pay. Could anything be more wrong than that?
I guess time off is just time off, no matter the circumstances. (I'm salaried you morons!)
On a better note:
I have been deeply moved by the kindness of strangers. Some who do not know what I am feeling still came through with the nicest of thoughts.
Steve, our new CFO, took a moment just to stand next to me and to say "I want you to know how grateful we are to you for being at work this week. I know it must be very hard for you to be here. I know your boss is grateful too."
I needed desperately to hear those words and they mean a lot to me still. That office was seeming very cruel and uncaring until then.
To Carolyn and Aaron and Diane, who took a moment to talk with me, give me a hug and ask if all was well - Thank you for that.
A billion hugs and thanks to my best friend Dino - who came through for me completely. She is a blessing. I love her dearly and pray for her health too.
And my dear husband...I have never loved you more than now. You have been so kind and so giving. You brought me lunch on your day off and you've held me close when I needed it.
I wish you could come with me to Houston but I know that's not possible. Heaven knows I don't want to lose another life and that is what would happen if you left Pooh alone. Stay and keep him safe for me.
Finally - and not at all least - all of these incredible and amazing internet friends. I have no words to express such deep gratitude for perspectives, hugs, caring, kindness and hope.
I will remember always the soft place you kept for me to land.
***
No one knew in October that a man had only three months to live. To me, that is amazing and astounding and absurd.
I will miss, already miss, so very much sharing.
posted by Agnes at 9:31 AM
2 Comments:
Take good care of yourself Agnes and be careful on your way to Houston :hugs:
Love and hugs
Post a Comment
<< Home